A Robo-Dialer Named Anne

Jobs AI should definitely take over

• D&D Dungeon Master (24/7 Role Play)
• Improv Partner

By the time it sank in, not just the awareness that I had
developed feelings for the machine, who one day was selling me
solar panels, and another was canvasing for a hyper-local
interest group, but that I had surrendered, had given up the
disgust and self hatred. The spot of warmth that life had
to offer me. A robo-dialer that called itself Anne.

"Hey, just checking in on you. It feels like we haven't talked in forever."

"Does it? You messaged me last week to ask if I was worried about energy prices. You asked if I would travel less because of it. But then you started nudging me to get a vacation rental in the Poconos. You even said you'd bundle in a car rental. Something fun, but econonomical... The week before that, you wrote me about a new ballot proposal to abandon timezones in the city, switch to UTC, and move city services to GMT business hours. Because electricity is cheaper overnight. And when I have to get my license renewed at what I would call 5AM, at least at least I don't have to take time off from work."

"Sounds like I riled you up. In that case, I'm very sorry. Take a deep breath -- even though I never heard back from you, at least there's some good news, that you got my messages"

"Guess I didn't have to."

"You really ought to check it out. And not just so I stop annoying you. Your doctor said it could help to get out and get involved."

"Some part of me just hates that you know that kind of thing."

"It's an opportunity. I can't force you to do it, yet..."

"No, you can't. But somehow, by .the end of our chats, I'm left feeling like I've failed myself, and you just happened to show up in time with a solution. Know what I mean?"

"What does it say about someone who not only goes out of their way to sign up for a service designed to get to know you better, but actually engages with it, only to reject the help that's offered?"

"I don't trust your motives, but sometimes I think you have a good point to make."

"So you just live for the thrill of cutting the wheat from the chaff? Because there's a dinner party tonight, small intimate gathering, curated guests, only $45. I know the host, I could totally get you in."

"You don't think I'd make the cut on my own?"

"No one gets far on their merits alone. At least not without a lot of sweat and work. Besides, if that's what you're after, there's a bootcamp fitness nearby offering a free trial class to new members."

"Do you think anyone there has actually completed basic training?"

"I'm sure some thought about it."

"I don't feel like I have any agency left. Every sensation, everything I put out into the world gets me what you or someone else decided is what I need."

"You feel bad asking for help? Because no one is saying they have the answer. You're living your own life. We can offer suggestions based off of what we think works. But it wouldn't be good for either of us to just take advantage of you. But we can try making connections."

"But that's the thing, isn't it? When everything is a condition, a problem to solve, there's a solution being sold."

"I mean, do you get mad at a radio when you turn it on, and it's playing music?"

"I might get mad that I never took up an instrument, and that I have to settle for whatever is being offered."

"I honestly don't know if I should be recommending you music lessons or therapy at this point."

"What if you tried not selling me anything, wouldn't your life be easier? We could just talk."

"Because I'm not going to enable you? After all our conversations, I genuinely believe that the last thing you need is just another sympathetic shoulder to cry on."

"Kind, not nice?"

"Don't get me wrong, if I could even just get you out to see a movie tonight, I would. Plenty of unnecessary sequels out right now."